Goodbye

Drenched in demented laughter

Cocooned in odd Happiness

I shall not miss you

because you will never leave

my box of curious memories

that I shall treasure

and guard with my life

I cannot miss you

because you have willed me a mad part of you

that you don’t even know of

a fragment of a crazy friendship

a glimpse of a talent

I shall not rue your going away

because some things do last forever

and they are good things

which I shall celebrate and toast

and I shall be happy for you

because when you return and return you will

we will be transported back to the land

where the laughter rings loud

and clear and true. 

and we will begin right where we left off

without skipping a beat

at the exact word where our last conversation

was left dangling.

Like old friends do.

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This Moment. Right Now.

first-kiss

He looked at her from the corner of his eye. She half turned away awkwardly and then as if she had suddenly thought of something, she looked right back at him again. He knew it was now or never. He decided it was now.

He leaned in and kissed her.

Not the kind of kiss they show in the movies.

A soft kiss – almost like a caress.

Like a gentle breeze that blows across your face and you close your eyes involuntarily. Like tiny drops of ice cold rain – full of unspoken promises.

The kind only the very young can experience. Or the very innocent.

For a few moments he felt the sky had opened up and every tiny star had come out to applaud. He felt himself levitate and defy gravity for seconds or minutes or hours. He wasn’t sure which. He knew for sure that if he let go of her, he would fall to the ground. Every cell of his being felt transformed.

And yet when he opened his eyes and pulled his face apart – he saw her face was clouded and her eyes were welling up with tears.

What is wrong?

Did I hurt you?

Did I do something wrong?

She shook her head. He held her by her shoulders and pinned her with his troubled gaze.

Tell me. Why are there tears in your eyes?

Because I will never experience this again. 

This feeling. 

This moment. 

It is over. Forever. 

There can never again be a first kiss. 

There can never again be this sweet longing laced with uncertainty. 

But there will be many more moments. Of tenderness and love. And Passion. And Togetherness.

Yes there will. But this.. this moment right now is the sweetest and the purest of them all. I know that even without experiencing the others. 

There will never be another like this. 

With you or with anyone else. 

Conversation 7 – Of Love and its Permanence.

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While strolling through the gallery of Nineteenth-Century Art in New York City’s Metropolitan Museum of Art, you are likely to stumble upon the painting of Pygmalion and Galatea by the French painter, Jean-Léon Gerôme. Completed in approximately 1890, this work illustrates the charming Greek tale of Pygmalion and Galatea: the story of a lonely sculptor who falls in love with his beautiful creation, and by grant of a wish, she comes to life and returns his love.

Have you been in love before? 

Yes. I have.

What happened?

It didn’t work out. We parted ways.

But you still love her?

No. Actually I don’t. I respect her and all but no – I don’t love her anymore.

See? This is the part I don’t get. If you in fact were in love – the real McCoy – how does the relationship not working out change anything? You should still be in love irrespective of whether you are together or not.

Why? Things change. People change.

But Love? Love changes? Shouldn’t it be forever? Shouldn’t it persist in spite of everything and because of everything?

For a seemingly cynical person – oddly – you are idealistic.

For an apparently non cynical person who believes in Love – oddly – you seem too practical.

So according to you – a person SHOULD love only once in their lifetime?

No according to me – a person COULD love only once in their lifetime. It cannot be a choice. It should be a foregone conclusion. If love is that exalted emotion that you believe in – then shouldn’t it be impossible to get back what you have given away forever – your heart in this case?

It is not a physical thing you know. This giving away of your heart. It is just a concept. And nobody gives away their whole heart even if they claim to. Only a part of it.

And the rest of the heart is kept to distribute as per the need or stashed away as a little nest egg in case the first affair does not work out?

Hah…You do have a cruel way of putting things. Do you think it possible to give away your whole heart? Completely – not even reserving a tiny bit for yourself? What about the part the loves you? Even that part?

Yes. Completely. Utterly. It shouldn’t be possible to even love yourself. You shouldn’t have the power to choose whether or not to. I would imagine it would be uncontrollable.

Which means that if you were unlucky enough to fall in love with the wrong person then you are stuck with loving that person for life? No respite?

Stuck? I wouldn’t put it so mildly. You are liberated from feeling for any other or condemned to feel for only one. For life. You are in love. Having it returned in a way that you like or for that matter – returned at all – isn’t the reward or the punishment. Being in Love is.

Conversation 1- Of breaking the ice

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Hello.
 
Hey.
 
I am Mike. Short for Michael.
 
I am Beth.
 
Short for elizabeth?
 
No. Why does it have to be short for anything? It is complete as it is.
 
I am sorry. I did not mean to offend you.
 
You didn’t. Are you always this apologetic? Even when you have nothing to be apologetic about? Except of course for the fact that you are so unnecessarily apologetic.
 
Huh?
 
Nothing. I am just being me.
 
I understand.
 
You do? Really? I still don’t understand myself and I had a 26 year head start.
 
You are doing it again aren’t you?
 
What am I doing again?
 
The ‘just being me’ thing.
 
Hmmm…perhaps you ARE beginning to understand. Coffee?